Monday, May 25, 2009

The voiceless break into song .

The numb break into feeling. 

i'm starting this movie very early in the morning, because it's pretty dang long.  I like it

Image Hosted by
Head towards the light, the darkness has no place here

I used to wonder if i'm really just fooling myself.
But then i realized that it's really my heart, what i think for myself, even if i'm the only one without, maybe i'm not meant to have that. and, that's alright with me. sometimes i get scared that i told myself i don't need it so many times, that because i say that, i'll always be without it, and never know it only because of my own mind getting in the way. i'm not desperate for it, it doesn't define my life, and sometimes i start to feel like i'm just missing it, but i feel selfish when i feel myself wanting this, because i know i'm not put on this earth to live for myself alone. But also, i was made for this. ? I'm just rambling/thinking/making no sense, = P. 
i just feel like maybe, i won't ever experience this in particular. But it will happen at the right time if it's supposed to.


What is this ? Where has it gone 
it's like we only think our cries and fears are our only emotions . And feel as if there's nothing after this , or even what's becoming of now. we touched the top of the mountain with our fingertips and relapse back into the stones.  Because everything is great until you find yourself at the end of the week, wondering what the heck you're doing, wondering how much time is left, thinking about how ultimately, no one can understand. mind is so uneasy. yes, no one knows the full extent of everyones mind and heart, does that mean we should all be silent from each other ?  i want to hear your voice . 

Image Hosted by

love you, and goodnight

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Chickity China the Chinese chicken

You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on

i always wanted to learn that song , but it was too fast the times i attempted X P.
i'll get it one day..

i love when people dance.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


world is big and empty
with tenticles and a mouth
The world is in my body
I'll tear the world out."

"Before there was anything
I loved you endlessly
There are no words to make way for this truth . This love for you inside of Me
And if I paint a sky with bronze , Or blanket you with stars
It's not enough to prove to you , This love inside My heart

What if I knit you together . Inside your mother, with artistry?
Crafted in My very image
Because I need you here with Me

What if I gave everything . Just to have you close to Me?
What if My love was the only truth. Would you believe it could set you free?

There isn't anything . That you could ever do
Not death or life, not depth or height
Can ever take My love from you

There is no greater love than this. That a man should lay his life Down for his friends
And though I already have, I'd do it all again

Regenerative are My bones and My skin. My nerves are dismayed by intrusion
Yet if you are gone, for short or for long, It all aches with no sought restitution

I would do anything for you, It's obvious and in plain view
Like the life that I've laid before you, Everything that I've done is for you

So look for me with open eyes
Knock and I will open the door
I have loved you before there was time
And I will love you forever more"
He longs for us

Let's throw down. I'm on my face. Let's hold each other till the darkness has fade. 

I want to write a story.  I want to make music.

Casting such a thin shadow

i don't even know how to feel when i listen to what he says in this video.. but it's powerful, it's painful, it's beautiful.

We will never understand everything. I long for the right timing for everything. This season  is all happening, for a reason.
for something Beautiful.

 Where are you...WHAT ARE WE  DOING

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Image Hosted by

i need summer to start, school to be over, all the stress on everyone to be gone. It couldn't come soon enough .
Let's go places :D
i don't believe that this summer is going to be boring, or dull, or lame. i feel like it's going to be full of life and the biggest breath of fresh air ( =
i have this craving to go to OneThing again, I want to do the LIFE walk whenever it comes again, Arry will go with me ( = ?
I have a craving.
Even things like, when you go through a drivethrough window and right before you leave say " you know, you have really pretty eyes" to the girl that's working, you couldve just made that persons day without knowing it.
i kind of think scrambledly and outloud so it might get confusing when i just leap to new subjects = P )
Things are going to change, maybe circumstances that i don't have control over that have been coming against me lately won't immediately, but the way i handle them and don't let them bind me will.  We're all going to break.  Everything will be shaken .
"Have you found what you've been looking for ?
it's never easy wanting something more
let me take you to this place
where temptation and fear have no hold
where love and faith is the only embrace
where we can finally break, and be built anew
because here our flesh is like stone , letting no one in
meanwhile our insides are cracking, my heart is a melted tomb
i failed you, you failed me
well it's not over, no it's not over the voices keep ringing in my ear
but we've proven them wrong, and we'll leave them with no satisfaction
let's walk , go somewhere we're both so unfamiliar
where we can finally break. "

i remember after the first time i watched this movie i was like, i'm going to be one of those coastguard rescue swimmers

today will be swell . But i want to go to the movies one day this week, yes ? kay :D

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I can't breathe.

"This is for all those who search for something more
Never give up, never give in
When words have no meaning because your time in hell has left you cold and alone
What was thought to be good in the world gave you the back of their hand
The breath of life has become empty, without feeling
So you, bury your head and distance yourself
The dreams still wake you in tears and nightmares, battery and anguish
Tears, nightmares. Battery and anguish
All that's good in the world can be wrecked in such a short time
and then you'll wonder is the end near
Take a chance, just one time. Make ready your heart tonight
And you sing:
Is this the end? This is all I have
Love is here now that you're at your end. "

Here i am, choking on my own insides. This, this is my midnight fight. So close your eyes, shut your eyes to what the world says is correct ,to what the world puts on display but has no value. I see the most when my eyes are closed.
even when the loved are gone, we are never alone . They are in a place where they are more alive .

Ezekiel 36:26 "i will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; i will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."