Some will seek forgiveness, others escape

Remembering back to, not that long ago, i was completely confused. Forgive me if i'm guilty to blame for all of this.. But i believe my heart was in the right place. You told me once to stay away from you, and i told you i'd take a step but wasn't going anywhere, because i believed it wasn't your heart, the way you were being. That i wasn't going to just leave you, my best friend cause you called me a few names, or stood there while you screamed at me. But when you said you wanted me out of your life the next time, I assumed i was your misery, and so we walked away. And maybe i am the one to blame, i'm willing to accept that even if it's not mine.
but now it seems as if your someone who's so far from the truth, and maybe we all are.
i pray you won't be taken over by this pride that's wrapped around you.
i pray you'll find your heart again, and that you'll find someone to confide in..


Maybe he told you truths that you didn't want to believe. Maybe in your mind this whole thing grew like a nasty monster, infesting the whole situations into something much bigger and grosser than it all really was.
Since when did you have the right to give me the ultimatum of choosing you as a friend, or the rest of my friends. Forget fairness, how is that even right ?
i always wondered if there was something i could've done more, i could've done better or should've been there for you more. It's as if you want people have to constantly prove themselves to you. 
Sorry , I'm just writing what i'm thinking,  who am i to blame anyone else.
There's so much more i could say, but i'll bite my tongue.

I'm sorry if i ever wronged anyone, or came across the wrong way. Nothing i'm saying is in hate, it's just in all honesty.
And I've forgiven you, even if you say you have nothing to be sorry for.
I pray that our hurting will be healed.

Why is this such a big mess ? We were all so close

Why do people care so much what someone does to them? If someone wrongs you, that's their choice and you can't change that person. So why let it completely bring you down, people are always going to fail you one way or another. They come in and out of your life and make a good impact, or leave you with bruises.
I've heard so many people say " i can't trust this person anymore". And it makes me think, trust isn't believing that someone is never going to fail you or believing that theyre always going to do the right thing at the right time. But trust is rather trusting that they're doing sumthing for the right reason, no matter what it is. atleast that's what it is to me.
it's a shame we have wasted and waste so much time and life on insane complex situations. How is that a way to live

( and no this isn't directing towards what i was writing about before)

I always learn different point of views on so many things i thought i knew so well. It's what keeps me going.

I have a feeling this weekend is going to be fantastic, i can feel it in me bones X )